Clicks…and crickets

This week has been difficult, to say the least. I thought writing the book was hard, but nothing could have prepared me for trying to promote it.

I’ll come right out and say it…I’m not a saleswoman. I don’t know how to sell anything. You remember when you were little, the school always had those contests where you had to sell candy bars or something else stupid for charity? Well, I always ended up in last place. I was too shy to ask people I didn’t know. Inevitably, my mom would end up taking the sheet to work and begging people to buy from me. I never, ever wanted to have to sell anything. It was one good reason to go into healthcare. People must come to me for meds, hence no need to upsell anything.

I’ve tried, really tried to get into this promotional stuff, but I swear social media is like a different language. I posted a sweet Tik Tok that my co-workers made with my babies about my pen name, and some trolls said some nasty things in the comments. I’m all for freedom of expression, but what happened to if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all? I’m just not into this bullying online stuff. Sure, you’re behind a computer but what you say on here reflects who you are. It frankly worries me for my little ones. They’re only 3 and 6 now, but what happens when they get older? What will people say to them online? How will other people make them feel? Do I need to raise them with a hard outer shell just to get through daily life? I miss the days when there was nothing electronic to hide behind. If you wanted to insult someone, you did it the good old-fashioned Southern way. Talked about them behind their backs, and then said ‘bless your heart’ in person.

I’ve struggled this week with getting back to writing. It’s hard to remain confident that anyone is listening when you’re struggling to be heard. Writing has always been like therapy to me. Get it out, cry, listen to some Taylor Swift songs, and then emerge, more confident than ever. What if all this worry about selling the book ruins my writing? What is I can’t write for myself anymore? What if I can’t read books anymore without thinking, how did they get sells for this thing? Ugh. My anxiety issues are showing.

So clicks…the most powerful little sound in the world. The click of a mouse on your product or your name. That powerful feeling that comes from seeing that one more person has started to follow you on Instagram, Facebook, twitter…the list goes on. Are you represented properly on all forms of social media? Did you get your name out there on Goodreads yet? Have you been posting every day, once a week, once a month? I find myself staring down at my phone, waiting for people out there in the world to click.

And mostly I get silence. We all want to be heard. We all want everyone to think we are unique and special, and that our story is the one that will be heard all over the world. Yesterday, an influencer told me my book didn’t look like ‘her cup of tea’. I appreciated the honesty, but at the same time, it’s that inevitable frustration of who’s ‘cup of tea’ am I then?

I found some wonderful groups of writers online. Thank God for them. I am eternally grateful for people who get what I’m trying to do and are in the same boat. A mom’s writing group on Facebook has been especially helpful and sympathetic.

And that’s the rub of social media…It’s easy to hate it and say it’s all awful. But the truth is, it’s another way we can all connect and sometimes we all need to know we are not alone. All those social media outlets let us know that there’s someone out there, maybe waiting on our click.

I’ll leave you with this. I’m going to strive to make my social media presence as positive as I can. I’m going to try to get back to writing and let it speak for itself. I’ll leave you with a quote that will hopefully get me in a positive mood.

“There is too much negativity in the world. Do your best to make sure you aren’t contributing to it.” Germany Kent

Love you all,